If nice guys finish last, would it be better to be a bad guy

If nice guys finish last, would it be better to be a bad guyIf nice guys finish last, would it be better to be a bad guyAh The Nice Guy syndrome.Theres a common misconception out there that there are only two kinds of men.Nice GuysBad boysBut nothing could be further from the truth.A nice guy isnt actually a nice guy. Hes someone whos afraid of speaking his mind and stepping on toes so he constantly obliges and panders to women, his superiors, and his friends in a desperate search for approval.To put it simply Nice guys are pushovers.On the other hand, bad boys are the complete antithesis of a nice guy.They dont care about other people and are completely caught up in their own world. They will push others around, lie, and manipulate to get what they want.Also No bueno.However, there is a third option. An option that I would encourage much more than being bad for a while before switching tactics.This option is what I refer to as a Grounded man.Hes kind, polite, courteous, and consi derate of others. But he also knows what he wants, speaks his mind, and is willing to make other people uncomfortable for the sake of his mission.Here are a few simple ways you can kill Mr. Nice guy and embrace the Grounded Man inside of you.1. Prioritize yourselfPlain and simple.You are living YOUR life. You dont owe it to other people to go out of your way to pander to their every request and desire.Be selfish and put yourself first.Take care of your health and go to the gym before spending time with your friends.Work on your career or business and become financially secure before loaning money to your buddy who just got out of jail.Spend time developing yourself by reading books, listening to podcasts, and meditating even if other people want you to do something else.Put yourself first so that you actually have something to give to the world.Otherwise, youll constantly be running on empty.2. Set stronger boundariesThe nice guys key flaw is that he is unable to platzdeckchen prope r boundaries and, as a result, gets pushed all over the playground.If you want to become a grounded man, you MUST set stronger boundaries.But what does this actually look like?Let me give you a couple of examples to illustrate the points.Example 1 (Mom) Im so lonely. I really wish that you would spend more time with me during the weeks, its be so miserable here since your dad left me.Nice Guy Of course mom, youre right. Let me come over right now and take you out for coffee *cancels plans with girlfriend*Grounded Man Mom, I took you out for dinner last Friday. I love you and I know youve been upset since dad left but you need to go out and make some friends of your own, I cant drive home every weekend to keep you company.Example 2 (Girlfriend) Honey, I dont want you going out with your friends tonight, you know how jealous I get I just cant stand the thought of you guys being surrounded by all those other girls .Nice Guy I understand honey, Ill just tell the guys I cant make it (for the fourth week in a row)Grounded Man Look babe, Im sorry you feel that way, but youre going to have to learn how to handle your jealousy. I havent seen my friends in two weeks so Im going out tonight. You know you can trust me.Do you see the difference?A nice guy will do anything and everything to make others happy even at thie expense of himself. A grounded man will not.3. Say noThis goes hand in hand with setting proper boundaries, but its so important that it deserves its own point.Nice guys dont know how to say no.They will constantly say Yes to any and every request for their time no matter how preposterous.Grounded men have a strong purpose and are willing to say No when they need to.You dont have to say yes if you dont want to.Learn to say No when someone makes an unreasonable request. Heck, even if the request is completely reasonable (like going out for beers with your buddies) but you have other things going on JUST SAY NO.4. Speak your truthNice guys will shy away from sharing strong opinions or correcting other people.Grounded men will not.Although a grounded man doesnt go around looking for an argument, hes unwilling to compromise in his values and, if someone else makes a remark or acts in a way that is at conflict with what he believes, he wont be shy about it.5. Be willing to walk awayUltimately, a grounded man values himself enough that hes willing to walk away from any interaction or relationship if it is serving as a detriment to his quality of life.Whereas a nice guy will stay in a toxic relationship, put up with ridicule from family, or accept lying and cheating from his friends, a grounded man has no qualms cutting the relationship off and walking away.Its a hard pill to swallow. But its the truth.Stay Grounded.This article first appeared on Quora.

3 Simple Steps to Customize Your Resume Fast

3 Simple Steps to Customize Your Resume Fast3 Simple Steps to Customize Your Resume FastIf youve heard it once, youve heard it a hundred times never submit a generic resume The best way to get notlageiced is to customize each and every submission for the exact role to which youre applying. The problem? That can take hours upon hours to do Online applications are time-consuming enough. Youve already spent so long updating your resume. Who has the time to go through it all again for each individual job? Have no fear, job seeker. The process of resume customization isnt as daunting as it may seem. In fact, with just a few simple steps, you can finely tune your resume and improve your chances of getting that coveted interview. See Famous CEOs and Executives Share Their Best Career Advice.In order to do this properly, you must first understand the basics of online application systems and how they work. According to a Recruiting Software Impact Report, issued by business software research company Capterra, about 75 percent of companies use an applicant tracking system (or ATS). These programs allow companies to gather data from job seekers and automate many parts of the hiring process. These database systems can also be used to filter out applicants who dont meet predefined criteria. For example, if youre applying for a corporate training position, the system may be set up to search your application and verify that you have a set number of specific keywords related to the role (such as curriculum design, facilitation, talent development, etc.). If your application doesnt have the keywords theyre looking for, youre likely to get a rejection or your resume will simply fall into the black hole of applications. This is why people who believe theyre a perfect match for a role might never get a call for an interview. If youre not using their language and citing the specific terms they want to see, youre all but invisible. So, when customizing your resume, youre really tr ying to match the keywords found in the job description. This is the most valuable use of your time and its a fairly quick process, once you know what to do. See Tips for Surviving a Career Transition.1. Review the job description and note the keywords. First, read the job description thoroughly, and take note of the keywords used. Keywords are typically nouns or noun phrases that highlight a specific skill or set of skills. For example, project management, data analysis, customer service and business development are all keywords. The keywords used for each job posting may vary, but within the same field they will generally remain consistent. Take note of which keywords appear toward the top of the job description and those that appear frequently. The company is telling you, very clearly, that these items are most important to them. 2. Adjust the bullet-point accomplishment meinungs in your resume to match the keywords found in the job description. With this list of keywords in hand , you can now turn to your resume. Go through each statement on your document and revise the wording so you can incorporate the specific keywords they have used, in the exact way they have used them. For example, if you have referenced your expertise with Salesforce and the job description asks for a Salesforce.com expert, revise your resume to show the latter. This may take some creativity, but assuming your skills are a match for the role, the language adjustments youre making should be relatively minor. See 7 Companies With Perks That Will Totally Make You Jealous.3. Create new bullet-point accomplishment statements, if needed, to ensure you cover all the most prevalent keywords. Finally, its worth your time to create a few new sentences, if needed, to cover all your bases. If the job description indicates that a certain skill is needed and its not specifically cited in your resume, add it (as long as you have the real experience to back it up). As you do this, create a master do cument that holds all the various accomplishment statements youve created. That way, in the future, you can simply pull the most relevant ones to build a customized resume for each position. Remember The job description you see online is your best tool. The company is giving you clear instruction about what they want. Dont expect them to read between the lines and figure out that your experience is a match. If thats what youre hoping for, its likely a human will never see your information because the ATS will filter you out first. This process becomes second nature once youve done it a few times. If youre applying for roles that you dont have much experience in, and for which your skills are not necessarily a match, it will be more time-consuming. Youll have to rely on transferable skills, but youll still need to follow the basic methodology. Lastly, be sure to save your customized resumes and note which companies you submitted them to. That way, when you get the call for an intervi ew, you can go back and review what theyve seen. Then, all you have to do is knock em dead in the interview 10 Ways to Perfect Your Personal Brand

20 Top Career Experts for Working Moms to Follow on Twitter

20 Top Career Experts for Working Moms to Follow on Twitter20 Top Career Experts for Working Moms to Follow on TwitterWorking mothers definitely dont have it easy. Between balancing work and family demands, they also have to contend with the gender pay gap, onramping issues, and biases in the workplace. Luckily, there are many career experts online who can offer guidance, solutions, and solace when it all gets a little too stressful.The next time youre on social media, check out these 20 female career experts for working moms to follow on TwitterAnne Marie Slaughter SlaughterAMPerhaps best known for her piece in The Atlantic entitled, Why Women Still Cant Have it All, Anne Marie Slaughter is the president and CEO of New America, a think ?and action tank dedicated to renewing America in the digital age.Better Life Lab BetterLifeLabThe Better Life Lab seeks to restructure the U.S. workplace, changing it into a healthier, happier, and family-friendly work environment. It creates origina l research and policy analysis in order to create more practical solutions that can help companies become more supportive of working parents, and in particular, working mothers.BrigidSchulte BrigidSchulteFeeling overwhelmed, working mom? Youre not alone. Brigid Schulte penned the book on the subject Overwhelmed Work, Love Play When No One Has the Time. Schulte speaks globally about time management, productivity hacks, and how to rethink gender roles for a more equal division of duties.Claire Cain Miller clairecmClaire Cain Miller is a correspondent for the New York Times, where she writes about gender, families, and the future of work for The Upshot, an NYT site dedicated to analysis of policy and economics. Shewas also a part of a 2018 Pulitzer Prize wining-team for reporting on workplace sexual harassment issues.Danielle Paquette DPAQreportDanielle Paquette is a Washington Post reporter writing about work, culture, gender issues, and power in the workplace. Her writing focuses o n national labor issues.Emily PeckEmilyRPeckEmily Peck is a senior reporter at Huffington Post covering business, economics, and gender inequality. She is also a former Wall Street Jurnal editor.Gloria FeldtGloriaFeldtANew York Times bestselling author and womens rights advocate, Gloria Feldt founded Take the Lead, a nonprofit initiative with a goal to propel women to leadership parity by 2025. Feldt is also the former CEO and president of Planned Parenthood Federation of America, and lectures frequently on topics such as women, feminism, politics, leadership, media, and health.InkwellTeam InkwellTeamCalling themselves a flexible work innovator, Inkwell seeks connect flexible workers with companies that need part-time or project-based help. Inkwell looks for professional candidates, with a special focus on extraordinary women.Its Working Project itsworkingprojFounded by Julia Beck, Its Working Project by Forty Weeks is committed to helping the private sector successfully bring new parents back to work with as seamless a transition as possible.Katherine Goldstein KGeeeKatherine Goldstein is journalist who focuses on women and work. She is working on a podcast about millennial working mothers, and teaches at the Harvard Extension School.Kelly Wallace kellywallacetvKelly Wallace is a digital correspondent and editor-at-large for CNN. An award-winning digital journalist and television correspondent, Wallace writes in-depth articles that showcase family, career, and work-life balance.Laura Vanderkam lvanderkamLaura Vanderkam is the bestselling author of What the Most Successful People Do Before Breakfast, All the Money in the World, 168 Hours, and Grindhopping. She is a frequent contributor to Fast Company and is a member of USA Todays board of contributors.Lauren Brody LaurensbrodyThe fifth trimester is when the working mom is born, according to Lauren Brody, founder of The Fifth Trimester. She is also the author of The Fifth Trimester The Working Moms Guide to S tyle, Sanity, and Big Success After Baby.Rachael Ellison REworkingparentCareer coach and work-life advocate, Rachael Ellison is the founder of ReWorking Parents, where she helps career-minded individuals to iron out the bumps in their careers, help reduce the stress in their lives, and find clarity to determine the next necessary steps in their careers- and lives.Randi Zuckerberg randizuckerbergSure, she might be the sister of Facebook creator Mark Zuckerberg, but Randi Zuckerberg is well-known in her own right. In addition to being a speaker and radio host, the work-life advocate recently published her latest book Pick Three You Can Have It All (Not Just Every Day).Rebecca Greenfield rzgreenfieldAs host of The Pay Check podcast, Rebecca Greenfields podcast highlights the gender pay gap, including origins of the gap and newsworthy stories about how the disparity in pay between men and women is affecting real families.Samantha Ettus samanthaettusSamantha Ettus is a bestselling Ameri can author, speaker, TV contributor, and syndicated radio host, widely known as a work-life balance expert and successful businesswoman. She has written four books The Experts Guide to 100 Things Everyone Should Know How to Do, The Experts Guide to Life at Home, The Experts Guide to Doing Things Faster, and The Experts Guide to the Baby Years.Tami M. Forman TamiMFormanTami M. Forman is the executive director of Path Forward, a nonprofit that creates mid-career internship programs for women (and men) looking to onramp back into the workforce after pausing their careers to raise children or be in other caregiving roles.Tory Johnson toryjohnsonStarting with her 2008 book, Will Work from Home, Tory Johnson has become well-known for being a workplace advocate. Johnson owns two career-focused businessesWomen For Hire, which connects qualified candidates with top employers and Spark Hustle, an organization that guides entrepreneurs to start and grow small businesses.Working Mother _workin gmother_Working Mother magazine is a national magazine for career-committed mothers. WorkingMother.com gives working mothers home and work advice, solutions, and ideas.Looking for more career and job search advice? Check out our blog